| Exciting times... |
[Jan. 26th, 2009|09:15 pm] |
This past weekend was one of the most exciting ones I've ever had. On Friday night, Jodi and I drove to Colorado Springs, CO for the weekend. The trip was my birthday present from Jodi to me which she took care of the room and bought tickets for the St. Cloud State vs. Colorado College Hockey game on Saturday night.
During the day on Saturday, we got going later than we'd originally wanted to, but it wasn't a big deal. We just went straight to the train station instead of driving around to sight see. We took the Cog Railway to the top of Pikes Peak. The weather wasn't the greatest, but you honestly can't expect it to be on top of a mountain every day. On the top of Pikes Peak, I proposed to Jodi. She said yes, and the excitment began. Besides the weather on top of the mountain, it honestly was perfect. After Pikes Peak, we went back to the hotel to get ready for the hockey game and go out for dinner. We ended up eating at the Phantom Brewery which was just across the street from out hotel. The food was very good and we even ran into some SCSU fans that were also going to the game. After dinner we made out way to the game.
The next day, we attempted to sleep in a bit, but didn't succedd with that. Housekeeping knocked on the door at 8:30 AM. I wasn't a very happy camper when they did that, but oh well. When I told the front desk, they gave me the excuse that they have almost 300 rooms, so they need to get a head start most days. My comment was, checkout isn't until 11, don't have housekeeping knocking on peoples doors that early in the morning, or at least wait until I turn in my room keys. If that's an issue, perhaps you need to consider hiring some more staff to complete the housekeeping within a reasonable timeline. enough of my rant about hotels. Anywho, we ended up leaving Colorado Springs around 10 and made our way home. We stopped in Sharon Springs to tell Jodi's parents and grandparents. All of them were pretty excited. Especially Jodi's mom, Eva. After lunch in Sharron Springs and meeting up with the grandparents, we hit the road again. After many hours of driving and many minutes and texts on our phones, we made it home. We ended up telling her sister in person also since they live so close to Jodi's. It sounds as if not many family members were really suprise, just very excited. We heard a lot of the, I knew you two were going to do it, just a matter of when.
So, that's a very quick and sloppy run down of the exciting weekend. |
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| Update... |
[Jan. 5th, 2009|11:14 pm] |
It always seems like it's been forever since my previous update. So much has happened in the past few months, when I look back I find it hard to believe. Overall, the holidays went well. I'm glad they're over but enjoyed seeing everyone. There was hardly ever a dull moment over the holidays. Between all of the Christmases and traveling, it's nice to be home for a little while. I'm finally finishing up all of the unpacking and taking things out of their boxes. Between Jodi and I, we ended up with the whole back seat of my car basically filled with presents. It was fun to also see what my mom considered to be Jodi'ish. Lone behold they were and Jodi loves the Jodi'ish earings mom got her. As for myself, I ended up getting a bunch of hunting clothes and a new fishing rod from Lonnie & Eva.
Other news... One of my good friends growing up passed away just after Christmas. We had a falling out about two years ago and after that, we didn't speak to on another again. The main issue that broke our strong friendship was his gf at the time, who he broke up with a few months after our falling out and me moving to Kansas. I wonder how my life would be if we were still on speaking terms before his passing. I know I would have taken his death harder. Trying to describe how I feel towards it is so difficult. I feel sad about the whole situation, but at the same time I know that it was his time and that at least he went without really feeling much pain. From the sounds of it, he was in a induced comma when it happened. I was debating about going up for the funeral, but felt it would be weird. I sent his family a card and I sure hope they are doing alright.
One a completely different topic. This month is a very exciting month. I found out early what my birthday present is from Jodi, since I needed to make sure I wouldn't have anything else planned. She ended up getting us tickets to the SCSU vs. Collorado College hockey game in Colorado Springs, CO later this month. I'm so excited. This is by far one of the best birthday presents ever. Now it's just a matter of me working a few weekends so I can save up a few bucks for that weekend. There's a lot i want to do in Colorado Spring on top of the hockey game, which I don't know if I'll have time for.
Anywho, there's so much more to write about, but I really need to get to bed here. I have my first physical therapy appointment tomorrow morning, which I'm been putting off for almost 3 months. Go figure. Night! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2008|08:15 pm] |
I can't believe how fast time has flown by this year. The other weekend, on the long car ride back from western Kansas, Jodi and I were talking about it. Some of the things that suprise me are: that Lil-B is already a year old; that I've lived in Wichita now for a year and a half; that Zanna is now living in Denver; and that I can actually realistically see my life starting to get into a routine with someone I actually see myself settling down with.
The other weekend was an intersting and very eventful weekend. We went to Sharron Springs, Kansas to meet the family. I'm so glad that I got to meet the sister and brother-in-law ahead of time. I wasn't nearly as nervous, knowing that I had some support around me. I think all in all, I meet close to half the town of Sharron Springs, KS. There were so many people at dinner on Friday night, most of them being friends of Jodi's family. That Saturday night, we weren't around as many people, but most of them I met the night before. I felt like I was in the spotlight of everyone, with them wanting to know more about me. They were all so friendly and seemed to have a look of excitment in their eyes. To be honest, it was kind of a weird feeling but exciting at the same time.
On Saturday, Lonnie (Jodi's dad) took me hunting with the guys. I'm glad I got to go with them and I actually get to spend pretty much the whole day around Lonnie getting to know him and vice versa. At first, I was pretty intimidated by him, but realiazed that he actually liked me. Although he was nice to everyone in the group, I felt as if he viewed me as a son already. There was really no difference in how he treated me and how he treated Billy (Jodi's brother-in-law).
Last weekend, we went to the Kansas State vs. Nebraska football game and the Kansas State vs. Texas womens volleyball game. Had a blast, but come the end of the day, we both were exhausted. Afterall, 10+ hours of sports with a total of 4 hours of traveling in one day sure add up. On Sunday, we went to the early service at church since Lonnie & Eva (Jodi's parents) came to town for the weekend. So, after church and an hour or so of Jodi packing for her trip to Houston, we went and met up with her family. It was actually not really to nerve racking again to see everyone. It's just a matter of getting to know all of the personalities and finding common things to talk about. Since our parents are very similar, it's not that difficult to get chatting about something with either Lonnie or Eva.
Now to this week. It seems one minute flies by while an hour will take for ever to pass. Since Jodi is in Houston until friday, I'm taking most of this week to get random things done here and there. I figured it would be a good time to start shopping for her Christmas present, but lone behold, I actually found what I was looking for pretty fast. Now I'm just debating if I want to buy it now while it's 60% off, or wait and see if it goes even cheaper with the holiday sales.
Other news... the Senior Planner position at work is going to be filled and I'm submitting my resume for it. I'm just worried that not having a masters will hurt me. However, I have found a masters program at a university here in Wichita that might be appealing, so I'm going to look into it more. If I do at least get an interview for the senior planner position, I can at least point out that I've applied for gradute programs and am actively searching for the right fit in a program. I'm hoping it works out, and that I stand a chance at getting this promotion. Who knows, if it's meant to be, it'll happen. |
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| Update... |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|10:42 pm] |
I know, I know... I'm horrible at updating this now days. I've just been so busy, that when I do have the time to write in this, I don't have much motivation to do much of anything. Since my last entry in this, I've been to two more K-State football games and took a few trips. My big trip was to Minnesota for four days of duck hunting and then to Omaha, Nebraska for a Conference for 3 more days. All it all, it was a nice get away, but by the time I reached Omaha, I was ready to get home.
Jodi and I are doing great. In September, Mom and Dad spent a few nights here in Wichita and we met up with her for dinner one of the nights. I'm glad mom and dad were able to make it down here to meet her. It meant a lot to everyone I think.
I finally met some of Jodi's family. I've apparently been quite the topic with her family since they found out that we're pretty serious. Last night, we had supper with her sister Andrea, brother-in-law Billy and their one month old daughter Avery. I was nervous as heck, but apparently impressed them. I was very excited to hear Jodi tell me that today. Billy invited me out to Sharon Springs, KS for a pheasant hunt and also to go when ever with his friends here for ducks and geese. But, the biggest news of all is that Jodi's dad has now extended me an invite to come out to Sharon Springs this weekend and/or next weekend for some pheasant hunting. This is on top of going out there for Thanksgiving weekend. Jodi couldn't believe it because her dad has never done this before for anyone. Apparently, being invited to hunt with her dad in a situation like this is a HUGE deal in her family. Next week is going to be a crazy week at work for both of us, but we're going to try to make our way to Sharon Springs next weekend it sounds like.
Anywho, think it's time I call it a night. I need sleep, early day tomorrow. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2008|07:16 am] |
I can't believe how much I enjoyed this past weekend. On Saturday, Jodi and I went to Manhattan, KS for the K-State football game. It was the first time I've ever seen a college football game in person, so I was very excited. To top it off, K-State won 69-10 over Montana State. I hope they keep it up and are actually good this year since we have season tickets. Jodi also managed to get a morning of dress shopping with her friends on Saturday, for her friends wedding next summer. While she was doing that, I managed to meet up with one of my friends up there.
Other than that, just had a laid back but eventful weekend. Went to church Sunday morning and out to eat at Abuelo's for lunch. Now the work week is in full swing and I'm finding myself looking forward to weekends all the time now. This weekend will most likely be another busy one. It's likely I'll be meeting Jodi's parents and I need to get a few extra hours in, working for my boss. I need to start saving some money up instead of always spending it.
Anywho, off to work I go. I got a big presentation this afternoon in front of the politicians and another meeting that will take up most of my day before my presentation. |
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| Update... |
[Aug. 27th, 2008|10:17 pm] |
So, I haven't made a post in this for others to see for a while now. So much has happened in the past few months, it's crazy. I've made a few trips to Denver, CO for work where I stayed with Jenny & Kyle, and also with Zanna the last time. I've also been to Kansas City quite a bit as of late. A few weeks ago, Jodi and I took a trip there and went to Worlds of Fun and a baseball game. It was a great weekend get away, just what we needed.
This summer has been a scary summer with a few things happening in my life. The biggest was that I've realized how messed up my back really is. Yesterday, I met with an Orthopedic Surgeon about it and found out that I need to get an MRI done so we can be positive about my situation. The doctor found that in my right leg, my femur is quite a bit longer than the one in my left leg. What we don't know is exactly how much of a difference there is, but it's estimated to be approx. 2". With the MRI it sounds as if the doctor will be able to tell if it's partially due to my pelvis or if it's just my right femur. This is leading to a a curve (left to right) in my spine, which is basically scoliosis. If I don't do anything about it, apparently the curve will become greater by 1-2 degrees per year. If I wait until I'm 30-35 years old, I could have even more serious lower back issues. Anyone else kinda nervous about this too? I know that I'm a bit nervous, but at least I haven't lost any sleep about it. If I do have to have the surgery though, I won't be having it until after the holidays. Most likely next spring is what I'm thinking. This will allow me to build up some more sick time to use while I'd be in the hospital and time to plan things out a bit more.
Anywho, I'll write more later. It's getting later and I'm tired. Night |
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| Surgery and the unknown |
[Jul. 14th, 2008|10:24 pm] |
I'm doing better this week. I've recovered from most of the bad news from last week. Though I'm nowhere near being 100% yet, I know now that I'm going to make it through this and it'll be my own way. Sure, I know there will be more tough times ahead, but I guess I'm learning. I'm reading a book right now Jenny told me to read. I'm hoping that it'll help me out more also.
The main reason for this posting though is surgery. My back has been messed up for quite sometime and with my stuborness, I finally came to my senses and decided perhaps taking pain killers like aleve and exedrin back and body aren't suppose to be taken on a daily basis. i went to the chiropractor last week and realized how bad of shape my back is. I'm doing therapy sessions to help with the pain, but I'm also looking at a likely possibility of surgery on my leg. I have one leg that is nearly two inches longer than the other. On the short leg, I'm roughly six foot, while I'm between 6'2" and 6'3" on the other.
I made an appointment today to meet with an Orthopedic Surgeon/Physician to discuss my options and get another opinion. My Chiropractor has told both Jodi and I that surgery is a very likely option and he supports my decision to meet with an OS. The surgery I'm looking at would entail 3 weeks of hospitalization with another 6-8 week on crouches, and intensive thearpy as soon as possible to get me walking again. I'd also be going through therapy sessions for a good 6 months. The final part of the recovery is a second surgery about a year later where they would remove the piece of metal attached to most likely my femur, where the remove bone. All in all, roughly a little more than a year for the whole process.
I'm scared, but at the same time realize that this is the best time in my life to tackle it. I also know that I'd rather be having the surgery on my leg than on my back 5, 10, or 15 years down the road. I also figure, though it may not seem like I have a strong support system down here, I have some key people in my life that I know will be there for me.
I have so much more on my mind, but I know I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow it a really busy day for me. I have meetings like mad crazy, new hires start, and I need to really get cracking at getting a project in the office done that I've been working on for quite some time. |
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| Could it get any worse? |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|05:45 pm] |
Honestly now, how much worse could this week get? First, Jodi and I break up. Second, I hurt my back on Monday and yesterday found out how messed up it really is. I have one leg that is over two inches shorter than the other, thus leading to a drastic curve in my spine from the left side of my body to right. And finally, today I get a letter from WSU denying me admissions into grad school. Sorry if this comes off as complaining, but I feel like I'm reaching a new low in life. Thinking about it, if anything worse happens, I don't want to even imagine it. Oh and the other thing... I haven't been able to eat for the past two days. I'm going on about 50 hours right now on having two cans of pop (one being a diet pepsi) neither of which I could completely finish, (total calories taken in for two days is a whopping 140). Everytime I get hungry, I look at food and feel like throwing up. Almost did that all over the vending machine at work this afternoon.
I just wish I had an answers and things could at least be normal again. |
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| Upset with myself.... |
[Jul. 9th, 2008|08:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
I decided that today would be a good day to take a sick day. Last night Jodi and I broke up and I'm thinking this time it's for good. I come to find out that I was being lied to and in a sense even cheated on. Over the 4th, she lied to everyone about where she was going. Her fmaily, her friends, even me.... She called last night, coming clean to me that she actually went to Arizona to see her ex. She didn't know how I'd react if she was to say that she was going to me before hand, and guilt finally got to her. All in all, we ended up breaking up, which really sucks and is difficult to take in at the moment. I'm mad at myself for letting myself care for someone soooo much and then getting squashed like I meant nothing. I'm also mad at myself for thinking that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love her, but if she was ever to come back asking for a relationship again, I don't know what I'd do. And, most of all... I'm mad at myself for preparing myself for the day I thought I was going to propose to her. I set aside a lot of money so when the time was right, I was prepared. I have almost everything planned out in my head and it was just a matter of time before it was to happen. It wasn't a matter of if it would happen, it was more... when would it happen.
Arghhh, life sucks right about now. I don't know where this will go. Will I be friends with her? (I sure hope so). Will I go to grad school here in Wichita? Will I decide to move back to Minnesota or perhaps Colorado? Everything is up in the air and I know now I'm facing some of the hardest decisions of my life to date, with truely nothing holding me back or committing me anywhere. |
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| bored & tired.... |
[Jun. 28th, 2008|11:13 pm] |
Today was what I'd classify as a "lazy day". I didn't have much of anything planed out, which seems to be rare for me, but none the less its true. I slept in till 11am and then ran a few errands, only to forget what I needed to buy once I got to Walmart. I still can't remember what it is I originally went there for. Once I got home, I tried to watch a few movies on tv. Managed to get through one before falling asleep about ten minutes into the second one. Geezzzz, I act like my dad when it comes to watching movies by myself as of late. I did make an attempt to go to the driving range and hit a few golf balls, only to find all of them closed due to the storm we had last night. Two inches of rain will close the ranges here apparently because they can't go pick up the golf balls with the go-cart thingy. Oh well...
Tomorrow, I plan on working most of the day at my boss's place. She has a few trees that I can cut down and I think theres a fence that needs to be fixed also. Hopefully the heat of the day won't kick in till early afternoon. Its suppose to be in the mid 90's, which gets hot when there isn't much for tree cover. Hopefully I'll make enough spending money to cover my trip to MN next week.
I can't wait to see friends & family back in MN. This will be the first trip this year to MN for good terms, so I'm looking for a somewhat true vacation. The only hardest part about this trip will be the fact that I will be gone for a week from Kansas (which takes its toll on me after a while) & of course not seeing Jodi, but perhaps its what our relationship needs. It makes us appreciate our time together that much more.
Anywho, I'm tired and I hope my laundry is almost done to I can call it a night. Later... |
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| Where do go? |
[Jun. 22nd, 2008|09:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | boring wichita | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Long Beautiful Dance, Rascal Flatts | ] |
A thought on my mind....
I found myself looking for some good advice about relationships and life in general. I use to always turn to my Grandma Holper for most of this, but haven't been able to since her condition got worse and then her passing away earlier this year. Since that time, I've struggled on finding that special someone to turn to. Sure, my family is great at listening and helping when possible, but there are times when it can get to be too much. My bestfriends are also good, but Grandma Holper's advice always seemed to get through and sink into me. And finally, there's Jodi... I can talk to her about almost anything, but how can I get relationship advice from her, when my concerns or the topic I'm seeking unput on is about her? There are so many times, I just wish the answer would fall into my lap and I'm know exactly what to do. One of these days it'll happen, it's just a matter of if I actually listen to it.
I'm in a foreign point in my life right now. I have a good job, even though I have my days where I don't think so. I have many things in my life I always hoped for and I know there's more to come. And, I also have Jodi in my life. I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend, but I'm scared shitless to tell her how much she means to me and that I love her, since I view that as a major point in a relationship. Where do I go from here? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 26th, 2008|01:42 pm] |
I'm so bad at keeping this journal updated, but oh well. At least I try to throw updates in the mix here and there. Anywho... from my last update a lot has been happening it seems like. Jodi and I got back together after not even a week long break up. I think it was good for us to go through, even though at the time I really wasn't thinking that. It made us realize some of the things that we took for granted in our relationship and help decide how we truely felt. Now, everything is going pretty good. I'm trying to figure out what I'll be doing for the 4th of July. The top choices are: 1) go to Minnesota for a long weekend; 2) possibly go to the lake with Jodi up near Manhatten; or 3) go visit Fuzzy Grub, along with my Godparents Jim & Becky. Hopefully in the next few weeks I'll have it figured out. During the begining of July (june 30-July 2) I'll be in KC for work, so going to MN or the lake might be my best choices.
I'm starting to already get excited to see my nephew (Lil B), Jenny, Kyle, and Charlie in a few weeks. I'll be in Denver yet again, but this time it'll be due to work. I figure I'll take a day off and spend a few days out in Denver with everyone. The one part I'm not looking forward to though is the 5:30 AM trip to the airport for my 7:00 AM flight.
Didn't do much this weekend. Last night we rented a few movies, both of which we pretty crappy (Antonte & Cloverfield). Had a relaxing night though for the most part. Cooked some really good chicken for dinner and made a awsome cantelope/peach fruit salsa (salad). On Sunday, I spent most the the day working at my bosses place. Basically pulling weeds for 6 hours straight. The extra cash is really nice and will help towards building up some savings and my traveling I'd like to do. It's also a good way to get a decent tan going.
As for everything else, it's been eventful but at the sametime feels kinda dull. I applied for graduate school last week. I'm hoping to get admitted to Wichita State University in their Masters of Public Administration. Hopefully I get admitted and can get that degree finished in about 3 years. That would put me in a good position to get a job elsewhere, a lot easier. Plus, I think it would help me out a lot with my profession.
Anywho, I'm going to get back to sitting in the livingroom, watching a movie with the windows wide open. It's about 70 degrees outside and breezy (perfect). It's a nice change since the past week has been kinda hot and muggy with a lot of storms, more of which are expected tonight. |
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| So much to say... |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|10:52 pm] |
I got back this evening from a 4 day trip to KC for work. It was sure nice to be able to get out of town for a lil while, and just reflect in my freetime on my current situation. I've been facing a lot of tough decisions, some of which I really only have 50% of the say towards. I thought about my current job situation and where to go with the situation between Jodi and I.
With work, I'm thinking that it wouldn't hurt to look, but I've decided to do this at a more laid back pace then I originally was thinking. As for Jodi and I. We arranged a time last night to meet up this weekend to talk with one another. I kept the conversation very short, which I know now scared her a bit since that's not normal for me. So tonight, I spoke with her online again just to clairify a few things so they wouldn't be taken the wrong way from last nights conversation. I think she felt releived that I did that and haven't given up on her. I kept it short again tonight, but I don't feel going indepth on the relationship topic is a good idea over the instant messenger or phone. It's a conversation that must happen in person. I think we did however get a sense on how much we mean to one another and hopefully we'll both be happy of the outcome from this upcoming Sunday's talk. I feel there are a lot of signs that it will and I'm trying to be optimistic about it, but at the same time I must remain guarded enough that I'll be able to handle the worst.
Anyways, time for bed. Night all. |
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| broken |
[Apr. 27th, 2008|12:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  heartbroken | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A Better Rain, by George Straight | ] |
Why is it that whenever I finally feel like something is going right in my life, it's bound to fail?
The other night, Jodi and I broke up. I've experience break ups before, but this one feels different. It's a different pain, which seems to hurt a lot. There really isn't any anger, more disappointment (mainly with myself). I find myself wishing things would just work out and we'd both be happy. But most of all, I find myself hoping... just hoping that the phone would ring. That it would be her saying that she's sorry and wants to be with me again. Now is that going to happen? I don't really know, but the odds are not in favor of it.
She still wants me in her life. To keep spending time with each other and be friends. From what I understand, she thinks that if we're friends for a while, those feelings might come to her for something more. So, do I be friends and hope they do come back? Should I live a life of hope? I don't really know. All that I do know is that my heart is broken and I still have very strong feelings for her. I also know that I'm job searching again. I'm almost done with a few applications now and plan to make some calls within the next week or two to see if any of my peers know of anything open. Perhaps god is trying to tell me it's time to move on with my life.
My body doesn't want to do a damn thing and my mind is thinking at a million miles an hour. All I've had to eat in the past 48 hours is a cheeseburger with a glass of guiness. I'm not hungry, nor thirsty. Summed up, this sucks. |
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| Take me out to the ballgame... |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|08:48 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Where are you going, by the Dave Mathews Band | ] |
Trying to burn a few minutes before I leave for KC. I sure hope the weather holds up, at least doesn't rain to much, so we can make it to the Twins vs. Royals game. If not, oh well. The baseball game is just a bounus in my eyes. We'll hit up Cabela's and the Plaza during the day, and probably go to the power light district tonight.
I'm starting to learn how to deal with hotels now. I book our hotel room about a week or so ago, and figured I'd call to confirm my reservation and check on a few things. I ended up getting a room upgrade from just a standard two queen beds to a two-room suite with a king size bed (Woohoo, go me). Also, we'll now be on one of the upper floors of the hotel, so we'll get a great view of Kansas City. So, my advice when booking a hotel room. Call and always ask nicely for what you want. A lot of times they'll bump you up without much hesitation.
Other news... I might, just might be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel at work. I spent all day yesterday dealing with a DOT screw up and starting some grant applications. I feel like I got a bit done, but I know that I'll be burning the midnight oil a few times next week to make sure everything gets done. I hate to say this, but I can't wait for one of the other planners to leave at the end of the month. He's been getting on my nerves and one of the leading causes to my stress. At least I'm keeping the stress at work for the most part.
Also, I'm starting to again check out sights to see and hotels in Denver. Since I'll be out there a few times this spring/summer, I think doing a lil more exploring might be in order. I guess it all depends on what's going on at the time, but it doesn't hurt to do a lil looking to know what's there ahead of time.
Well, time to get going. Don't want to be late. |
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| Taking on fears... |
[Apr. 8th, 2008|09:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Wichita | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tuesday's Gone, by Lynard Skynard | ] |
This week is a tough one so far. I've been stressed out with work and I'm carrying it onto my personal life, which is something I've realized and trying to overcome. I seem to be given more and more at work, with less time to get it done. For the past week, I've been staying late and I intend on doing so the rest of this week.
I say that my stress is carrying over to my personal life, but perhaps it's really my frustrations instead. I just realized this evening that the person in my life that's been negatively affected the most by this frustration is Jodi. Sure, it's nice to vent to your significant other, but is it fair? Does this help in establishing a healthy relationship? I find myself asking these questions because in the past, I've always directed my frustrations to my parents. They've experienced many of the same things I've been going through and seem to always have great advice. Since I've grown older, I find myself needed to back off always running to them. I guess I just feel bad and think I need to at least aknowledge it with Jodi, so she doesn't take it as me being mean or upset with her.
I also seem to be worried about my past when it comes to relationships in general. I feel like I finally have a great person in my life and I'm affraid that I'll screw up everything. I'm trying to go with the philosphy that what's meant to be is meant to be. Some things in life are not in my control and all I can do is hope for the best and ask God for his help/guidance. (Yeah, I know... it's pretty rare for me to get all spritual, but it's what I truely think). It's just hard to see the light when you've been burnt so many times. I sucks having the guard up on high just so the heart doesn't get broken over and over again.
Other news... I found out today that I'll be going to Denver Mid-June for a few days. My work is sending me to a training there, so it'll be nice to see Jenny, Kyle, Lil B and Charlie. I'll be out there next month also for Lil B's baptism. I also found out that I'll be going to KC another time this month, so two trips up there for work and one personal one all this month. Talk about a lot of traveling. Jodi and I are going there (KC) this weekend for a get-away. We're going to see a Twins vs. Royals game, go to Cabela's, the Plaza and probably check out the new Power Light District (since it's right next to our hotel). It'll be nice for the two of us to get out of town for the weekend together and just relax since we're in need of it.
I suppose I better call it a night. For once, I'm hopefully going to get to bed roughly 10ish. I don't get many of those nights anymore these days. |
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| Lazy day... |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|06:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 3 am, Matchbox Twenty | ] |
I find myself sitting around my apartment with little to no motivation to do much of anything. I managed to go fishing this morning, get the oil changed in my car, go to Wal-mart and Target, and make it to the bank. Since getting back from doing all of that stuff, I've been tired and tempted to go to bed already. How sad is that, it's only 7pm?
I know that I should take advantage of the weekend, and spend some time with my friends. It isn't very often we're able to hang out with one another anymore, so when we are able to we're normally out at the bars, at a game (hockey, baseball, etc..) or golfing. The next few weekends I won't be able to see them much because some are going out of town and Jodi and I finally will have a weekend to enjoy. Then in two weeks, I'm already excited for... Jodi and I are going to KC for the Twins vs. Royals game. We'll also be going to Cabela's (her idea, talk about the perfect women, lol) and probably make our way to the plaza.
I'm also looking forward to May when I'll be in Denver again for Little B's baptism. Still waiting to hear if I'll be having company on that trip, which will be nice. It's really a 50/50 chance she'll come with. I figure, it would be nice to have someone with to break up the drive and we'd both be able to see our parents on Mothers day. But, we'll see what happens as it gets closer.
Work is starting to become a fact of life that I find myself just going through the motions on. I've come to realize, it's really the same old crap every day. Someone complains about someone else, then it's a high stress moment, followed by a time of doing basically nothing. Ahh the joys of a office job.
Anywho, think it's about time I get going and figure out if I'm going to go anywhere tonight. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 8th, 2008|09:40 pm] |
I can't believe how many ups and downs I've had so far this year. Between losing both of my grandparents back to back months, I've had trouble keeping a clear focus on things at times. I've found myself struggling with work since my grandpa's passing in mid-January, but it's slowly coming back. I just wish that it would come back faster.
I now find myself in another up and down time of my life. There's been a lot of turmoil going on in the office, and now another planner will be leaving in the near future. He's told me to watch out because my boss is going to have to have a new person in her sights to get rid of and he's thinking I'm next. About four months ago, one of the other planners leaving said I'd be the next on the chopping block, but it didn't turn out that way. Now I'm just worried that perhaps my turn is coming. I guess I have to just go with the flow and what happens will happen.
I find this work situation difficult to some degree now, because I finally feel like things are going in the right direction for everything else in my life. I'm active in the community. I might be getting a new little brother to mentor. I'm now in a committed relationship and I will be applying for graduate school this month, hopefully getting into an MPA program this fall.
Oh well, like I said, it'll all work out in the end.
Anywho, I'm sure your probably wondering who this new girl is. Well, I'm not going to say to much, because I don't want to jinx it. Basically, we met on eharmony a while back and seem to really like each other. She's an accountant and is just a lil bit younger than me. She's in Italy right now on vacation with her sister. To be honest, I already miss her. Kinda suprised me that I would since we haven't been together all that long.
I suppose I better get going. I'm getting up at 4am for a hunting day trip with BBBS, and have to be at the BBBS office before 6am. It'll be a fun day, but a busy one for sure. |
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| New beginings.... |
[Jan. 22nd, 2008|08:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
This hasn't been the greatest month, but I guess its a sign of a new beginings. About a week and a half ago, my grandfather (Grandpa "Who" DuHoux) passed away. I know that he's happy where's he's at now, but it's been hard on the family. Some more than others. The morning I found out of his death, I was on the phone with my oldest sister Jenny coordinating flights back to MN to attend the "visiting" and funeral. I made it up to MN the next day.
I felt that i handled it very well. At least until I got to the little church that the visiting was held at. One of the last times I was in that church was Grandma DuHoux funeral back in the mid-90's. I got a little ways into the room where he was in the casket and I couldn't walk go any further. I turned back and headed for the door where I broke down for a while. After a few minutes, I made my way up to see him. I'd have to say that, that's been one of the hardest moments of my life so far.
The next day, the funeral was held. I was happy to see so many people at both the visiting and the funeral. It's a good feeling knowing that so many people were affected by his life in a positive. We all have our stories about Grandpa Who, and I have ohhhh so many. I actually did fairly well at the funeral to my suprise, but at the burial what got me was when the played "Taps". He was a WWII vetern, fighting in the "Battle of the Buldge", so it was only fitting for "Taps" to be played.
Anyways, its taken me this long to even talk much about his passing since I was in MN. I'm glad that my friends have been so supportive, along with my co-workers. To my suprise some people really came to the plate, that I didn't expect to.
More optimistic news... I had a date last night. Her name is Anna and we've been talking for about two months, until we finally got to meet last night. I was soooo nervous. She's a gorgeous southern girl, and seems to have a lot of potential. I think the date went well, but I'm worried about what I call the uncontrolables. I'm very self-concious about my weight and have made great strides in becoming healthier (losing 4.5% body fat since I moved here back in April). Anyways, I asked her out again but haven't heard back from her yet. Apparently this is normal for women to take their time getting back to guys with their answer. I tell you what though, it's torture to most guys (or at least the ones women claim are the keepers) or so I hear. Anyways, I'm just hoping that she says yes. I guess I don't mind if I don't hear back tonight. If she was to say yes tomorrow, I'd have to say that would be a great birthday present. |
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| Got to thinking... |
[Oct. 30th, 2007|11:00 pm] |
The past week has been one full of ups and downs. I've thought strongly about not dating again for another year or longer. I've also been thinking to myself how long I'd like to stay in Kansas. Where would I go? Am I ever going to be truely happy?
Sure, everyone keeps telling me it comes with patience, but how long must one wait at that point in their life? Do I keep running from the things that truely scare me in life? Or do I take these head on and start moving to the beat of my own drum?
Oh well, just some thoughts running through my head as of late. Guess I need to just sleep on it and just go back to the state of mind I was a few months ago. Focus on myself and do things to keep my mind clear for a while. I need to get back in a routine of going to the gym, spending time outdoors (fishing & hunting), taking a trip here and there, and just trying my best to enjoy the simple things. Perhaps I'm just taking to much for granted. |
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